Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts
Shasha
I know I've been away since long, well things have been quite busy and bad. Just hoping I'll be able to post something "good and happy" about the "bad and busy" stuff after May.So here goes today's post.

Things I Wanna Do After I'm Down and Low and Crying...::


  • Sleep,cause crying makes you so tired and your eyes droopy. Falling asleep seems like the best idea then, it feels it can correct all the crap stuff that took place some time back.
  • Dress up, put on some make up (yeah! make up is a stress buster,there's always a feel good factor about it) and strut out of the house for a day of fun and shopping. [Unfortunately, I'm still dependent on my parents, so drop the idea :( ]
  • Day dream about my ambitions and how I'm going to splurge on all the money I'm going to earn some day.
  • I feel like closing all the books (if I'm studying) and surfing the net for clothes, lingerie and make-up and shoes (yeah, that's what I plan to splurge on and add a nice SUV to that list :)).
  • Want a warm hug (its best if its from the person who you just had a tiff off with or your bff would do).
  • Be creative..write something nice, or paint something or some nice art and craft work...hmmm..
  • Start day dreaming about the recent best dream you saw and wishing it would come true.
What do you feel like doing if your down? Share your list :) ..


Shasha
I received this sms yesterday night and started reflecting:
The best place where you can actually be urself is on the terrace...on a dark night...in loose pyjamas, calm silence of midnight...having view of the neighbours empty roof...under the dark velvet sky embroidered with stars..cool breeze, listening to the song which defines you..It's all exotic..!

This is the time when you talk to urself..think about all the good & bad & weep or laugh silently..! Who knew nights could be so illuminating, Just you & darkness all around, where you are just you..no false mask over the face..no double standards..it's the only time when you are actually yourself.

And I felt that it's so true. The night is when I'm "me". For me the night is the time when I bond with God. When all the lights are turned off, and everything is so silent that you can hear yourself breathe, and I'm lying on my bed, that is when I pray. At that moment it's not a ritual anymore, it's bonding with a friend who you haven't met for a long long time. I talk to Him then, discussing my worries, my problems, sharing my thoughts and happiness. I do not know since when I got into the habit of praying at night but I just realised through that message that during those moments at night I was just being Me knowingly or unknowingly. For me, when I pray at night, it is just me and the Almighty, no double standards, no rituals,no joining of hands, no bending of knees, it's an earnest prayer from my soul each night. The night breaks down all the barriers around me, it projects into the world the true, real, vulnerable, human, me. When there are good days ahead, my nights are happy, well slept-in. When I'm worried, the nights are scary for it gives me no protection, it is at night that I truly face my fears, all alone, all by myself. It is a time of the day that I feel God truly tests you, for you're left all alone at the time, face to face with your darkest fears in this world, analyzing, strategizing, hoping, and sometimes helplessly praying,it makes you so restless for the morning, for the happy hours. Did He plan to make us emotionally stronger this way?......But the night also brings with it so much of calm. Every night when I'm in bed, it's like I wait eagerly for that silence to engulf me, to pacify me, it's like your favourite blanket and you just can't wait to cuddle in it.

Honestly who knew that nights could be so illuminating. Every night has so much to teach us. It is almost like the moral of a story at the end of each day, a lesson learnt on time.