I received this sms yesterday night and started reflecting:

The best place where you can actually be urself is on the terrace...on a dark night...in loose pyjamas, calm silence of midnight...having view of the neighbours empty roof...under the dark velvet sky embroidered with stars..cool breeze, listening to the song which defines you..It's all exotic..!

This is the time when you talk to urself..think about all the good & bad & weep or laugh silently..! Who knew nights could be so illuminating, Just you & darkness all around, where you are just you..no false mask over the face..no double standards..it's the only time when you are actually yourself.

And I felt that it's so true. The night is when I'm "me". For me the night is the time when I bond with God. When all the lights are turned off, and everything is so silent that you can hear yourself breathe, and I'm lying on my bed, that is when I pray. At that moment it's not a ritual anymore, it's bonding with a friend who you haven't met for a long long time. I talk to Him then, discussing my worries, my problems, sharing my thoughts and happiness. I do not know since when I got into the habit of praying at night but I just realised through that message that during those moments at night I was just being Me knowingly or unknowingly. For me, when I pray at night, it is just me and the Almighty, no double standards, no rituals,no joining of hands, no bending of knees, it's an earnest prayer from my soul each night. The night breaks down all the barriers around me, it projects into the world the true, real, vulnerable, human, me. When there are good days ahead, my nights are happy, well slept-in. When I'm worried, the nights are scary for it gives me no protection, it is at night that I truly face my fears, all alone, all by myself. It is a time of the day that I feel God truly tests you, for you're left all alone at the time, face to face with your darkest fears in this world, analyzing, strategizing, hoping, and sometimes helplessly praying,it makes you so restless for the morning, for the happy hours. Did He plan to make us emotionally stronger this way?......But the night also brings with it so much of calm. Every night when I'm in bed, it's like I wait eagerly for that silence to engulf me, to pacify me, it's like your favourite blanket and you just can't wait to cuddle in it.

Honestly who knew that nights could be so illuminating. Every night has so much to teach us. It is almost like the moral of a story at the end of each day, a lesson learnt on time.

Yeah, that's pretty much the concept of a beautiful body nowadays. Ever heard anyone say " I wish you were healthier"-no, until n unless you're anorexic, no one would ask you so. O I agree that thin is usually healthy, but someone like me with puppy fat here and there wouldn't be considered so. And who knows you may jus land up being several sizes larger after marriage or maybe after you become a mom. So, when your bf jus says "shakira's hot", it does make you feel bad, coz ah, I'm not expecting my body to be like her's in the next 100 years. And then if you ask me to exercise, I literally don't have the time. Don't you dare call me lazy, I really don't have time.

I really wish I were born in the 70's or 60's  where the concept of a beautiful body ( at least in India) was curvy, healthy. At least I could peacefully have some bread toast every morning without worrying about the fact that "there's butter in it!!", yeah, so i go without the butter nowadays and stick to plain, good old bread. Okay, I'm perfect alright in "medical terms" but if you ask me to strip down to my undies even in front of girls, I'd run (you know, there's the puppy fat problem). O and how I wish to strut around proudly in a bikini someday, I was actually considering a tummy tuck later, but my bf said "no",he prefers me all natural. It's puzzling you know. Ah, jus don't call shakira hot (I already know that for a fact).